I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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