True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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