There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
