i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think people are normalizing furries
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
