I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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