i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
