Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
