i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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