I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
