Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
