My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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