Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't think brook has ever known best
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
