You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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