batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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