Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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