the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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