i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
