Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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