Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I woke up under a house in Key West
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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