I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
