Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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