It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
