Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
