So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
