It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
