Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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