My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
