we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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