I love black thongs
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
