what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I was not drunk enough for that final.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
