Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
