Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
