Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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