you guys were way drunker than both of me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
