In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
