I want to walk on stilts...naked
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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