Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
