Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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