i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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