I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
