The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
