And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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