i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
