I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
