Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
