My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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