I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
