Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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