then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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