Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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