Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
