just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
